im in stockholm now,after a tedious 3 day journey all the way from ukraine..heehe finally we are here!

will be here for 3 nights

everything is so nice,clean but very expensive :(

tomorrow will be our first day of sightseeing...cant wait

 

missing pinky though, but having my parents around makes it more bearable.

 

 

Having finished my final exam, and having Dr. added to my name,my life is supposed to be really cushy and fabulous right now... but it isn't really.

countng the days till my parents arrive.. what? in less than 3 days. Pinky is in the midst of his exams, and im in the midst of packing up my life. i've only cried about less than few times these few days.. and as usual, falling asleep was really tedious.

to fall asleep i'd have to tire myself out so much, my eyes would be dry and sore. i cant roll into bed and try to fall asleep because each time i try doing that i'd be awake for a good few hours (no tossing and turning involved here, bed too small) and it sucks. i hate lying down in the dark crying and trying not to wake Pinky up. i hate it so much that i'd rather stay awake and stay online, till im so tired..i stagger onto bed and fall asleep.

even though the exams has ended, i look like shit.

 

time to stop blogging...and start packing.

so MANY things i have.maybe i should take a pic.

ps: yesterday i had a most wonderful day out with Pinky, to celebrate out monthlyversarry, i'll blog it out soon.

 

 

tomorow is the DAY. my final exam of the entire 6 years of medical school. oh gosh i have been in Simferopol for 6 years, o___o and tmorrow is the day i walk out of the exam hall officially a doctor (provided i pass)

 

im stressed.

i cried

i feel nauseous

i feel scared

and im quite sure in a while the tummy pain will come..

 

tomrorow it will be Obs & Gyn, Surgery and Therapy exam all in one session, it's like...the MOTHER of all exams.

 

combined!! :(

i pray that i'll get a nice cooperative patient, a lenient examiner and my confidence and knowledge please stay in my head , and please..no diarrhea.

*sigh*

today i read a news article in our Malaysian online daily The Star and it broke my heart . how could anyone be so cruel to beat and rob someone who is desperately seeking help to save his ailing mother?

i cant believe it, and im very upset.

what has the world come to. Johor Bahru is my hometown, my grandparents, uncles, aunts and cousins mostly are there. it is such a dangerous city, not to say that the other cities in malaysia are any better.

i've read of crimes which sickened me, but this one really makes me feel so disappointed. im losing my faith in people, what happens to random acts of kindness?

and to die from bronchial asthma attack..? Sigh, i think there's a chance that she could have survived it, given the opportunity and right timing.

 

;(

i dont know how to love my country anymore.

i am snacking on a slice of wholewheat bread with goat's cheese spread.oh goodness,it's yummy. been eyeing on the goat cheese for ages, so many times we went to the supermarket i was contemplating to get it,and today i finally took the plunge and i have no regrets about it at all.

actually there is a minor regret, i wish i bought it earlier, because it is so delicious :D

have never really been a fan of cheese spread, i prefer mine sliced so when i saw the goat cheese i was tempted to try and im wondering if these are available in KL? i hope it is, one thing i'll really miss when i go back home are cheeses and yoghurts, the yoghurt products here are divine.. unlike those back home, which are made to suit for local tastes (sweet)

im attempting to study, but after every few mins i come back to the comp..and surf around aimlessly again.

*sigh*

 

pinky is asleep and looking so peaceful. next few months will be really tough on us, but i will try my very best to be good, and to go through it because he is so worth the effort. being with him these two years + has shown me that he is definately a keeper. he keeps me sane and happy, and i have come to appreciate that alot.

i think im gonna have another slice of bread with goat cheese and then resume my futile attempt of studying -___-

 

the look on Pinky's face when he found my pseudo-misplaced camera.

he is most awesome,it's like he has a sensor to where everything is.each time i misplace something the grovelling begins..because he always always manage to find it.

today me, Jing,Cheryl and Vv went out because Jing is going home tomorrow *sob* no, actually she's taking a holiday in BKK before heading home..how nice is that, 5 days of shopping madness, great flavorful food, and her sisters are going as well so im really sure she'll have a blast. so happy for her, i think she needs a break from all that studying ;)

check this out, and english menu, hahaa it's not so common here in Simferopol so i had to take a pic. this was just the drinks menu..and no i didnt have that long island iced tea which made me tipsy the last time

Cheryl, Me & special person of the day- Jing (Jing:not that ur not special la usually, but u know..extra abit today :p) the sunglasses exchange, cheryl looking so nice in mine, and i love hers!it's so nice i love how the hue fades to a really light brown at the bottom this is where we  were, the outside area of Martini bar. technically not a bar (where we were seated)i love our seating area because the chairs are upholstered in burberry-like print

Jing and Vv

ooops caught in the act trying to sabo cheryl's photo

Tada! the result.. of what i did (photo above) hahaha

our drinks came. believe it ornot it was warm, and when i asked for ice, they didn't have it.no ice during summer! only in ukraine the people can accept this in restaurants ,so weird

me with my nice but warm drink

this is an attempted spy pic of this couple sitting nearby, just seconds before i took this he had his fingers in her cleavage -___-

 Fantasy pizza, i kid you not that's how it's called. i love it, but it's not nearly as good as Aperto's Krim pizza, which also has similiar ingredients. this one lacks salt. but i love the egg on top.hope KL has pizza like this 

Cream of brocolli with bacon. blended brocolli really doesnt sound appetising but this is really yummy, it's the best soup today voted by all of us

this is mine, covered by a plate of croutons

my seemingly empty bowl of chicken broth is actually filled with chicken pieces, chunks of cheese and half a boiled egg

Salmon soup, not to my taste because it's too fish. but cheryl loves it

this is our salmon carpaccio, it's to die for !! *salivates* thin slices of raw salmon dressed with light lemon+vinaigrette served with parmesan.. heavenly. i really like it and im surprised because it's the first time im actually loving a raw fish dish :D

jing's salmon tartare.. all these names reminds me of top chef

we took a pic with our waiter and waitress, hahaha so cheesy but he could speak english and he was adorable-such a rare gem

then we went shopping and ran some errands and right before going home me and vinvie went..

bumper boats..is there such a thing? so fun waaaaaaa i love it

:) 

the photos are unedited, because picnik wouldnt let me upload.mehh.

happy day today

not really feeling so good when i started blogging but after seeing all these photos im happy again.

 

much <3 to everyone flying off tomorrow..

 

i've never been good at dealing with stress and now i am at the same point i was just a few weeks ago. the same junction of hope, fear and more fear -__-

all these stress piling up makes me feel out of control, like everything is spiraling out of my hands, time, effort, hugs, the all too familiar feeling of the dread separation with pinky comes back with a big ass bang. on the days when im fine, i could push it to the back of my mind and not let it spoil my day.

but on days like this, all my defense mechanism crumbles in the presence of stress.

i need to get over it :(
exam on Monday.

so recently i bought some stuffs fr Benefit (thanks to the goodness of Jing + her visa) haha

we opted to gift wrap 2 items, but it arrived in one pretty box instead. it's supposed to be cheryl's and mine...but ever so kind cheryl let me have it...with the quote 'i know u enjoy these things' -___- First peek inside..containing all the items i bought recently, can u see that i have Posietint!

L-R : Posietint, High Beam, Creaseless cream shadow/liner

 clockwise fr top left : Some kind-a gorgeous foundation faker, Brow zing, Her glossiness

Posietine : the new cheek/lip stain from benefit. It's pink and it looks mighty flourescent , i could do swatches or attempt a review if anyone's interested

the famous high beam, it works wonderfully to create a faux nose bridge, and higher cheekbones for me

 the universal 'light' shade of foundation faker

this is a gift for my mom, im still trying to convert her to a lipgloss user >.< dont u think the color is soo saucy

Brow Zings, my shade is 'dark' of course.. i love this.this is kinda like my first brow product.it's quite easy to use, and it shapes my brows pretty well.Comes with 2 handy brushes too,but the tweezer is quite crappy

L-R : Creaseless cream shadow/liner in Prenup (spring limited ed) and Skinny jeans. im sitting on the fence about prenup as i was expecting a more pinkish shade,but on me it looks orangy instead.skinny jeans is a gorgeous grey/silver it's very great for a subtle smoky.under certain light it even looks olive on me (according to Pinky) and it's really easy to apply.

the free samples that came along with it. actually we had four, from 2separate shipments..but i kinda think we bought hell alot of stuffs..and only got four, of which 2 are the same -__-

 

im supposed to be studying!OMG im scared but not motivated, what is happening!!

 

this is what i need :

a nice, cool beer.

ps : been refraining from drinking due to health reasons, but fret not my liver's not failing..just worry about some drug reaction, and no thanks im not gonna tell what im taking :D

and also because recently i seem to get tipsy over the teensiest amount of alcohol, so very -the-not-cool *hmmph*

it's big because i remember outdrinking Pinky...on one particulay NYE party..and then he fell onto my lap..and then..our story began hehe

all i seem to do is just to sit in front of my laptop and click away.
i feel like im clicking away my time..my precious time which i could spend with pinky.
yet i cant tear myself away.. it's starting to make me wonder, what the hell is wrong with me??

june is so near...it is practically knocking.
soon it'll be time to pack up
packing up my life.. 6 years, all of it into boxes
leaving behind things i dont want, cant bring back, and ... pinky.

10 months of him being here without me, i worry for his health.i worry that he wouldnt eat enough (he has a tendency,because he is very fussy) i worry about his happiness, i worry that he will be lonely.

but what can i do? i should really try to stash these worries away and spend my energy loving him instead.but im not, because weirdly, im parked right in front of the comp...aimlessly clicking away.

i will be facing a whole new life..
and i dont have my best friend,boyfriend and comfort hug with me.

im not looking forward to returning home, because im afraid of what is there, and most of all.. what isnt.