35 posts tagged “medicine”

im exhausted

i feel like im living in the labour ward

been doing so many calls

and going to work every single day, even on weekends and public hols

right now im at the gynae oncology ward. oh yeah, oncology again -__-

i scrolled back to read my recent entries (oh i know,who the hell does that-) and i realised that im losing myself, consumed by my WORK :(

it's all been whining, semi depressing entries, more whining.. and some random drunken entries.

i dont know how i've been feeling these days. my feelings of joy are relative.. no longer the pure unadulterated versions i so used to enjoy. i feel old, im paranoid that im starting to look older..

im confused and undecided.

i bought alot of things recently, mostly i dont need..all superflous but i guess retail therapy helps. maybe for a few short hours after acquiring it, and again for the few mins when i use them

im kinda losing my knack for googling. wanted to find some quotes but i couldnt.

im gonna read my favourite poem from ee.cummings again..

and hopefully fall asleep with a smile on my face.

im on call tomorrow ... geez.

ps : is *this* love?

the Peads dept in our hosp must be really something.

today the second house officer went for Psy consult.

2 out of 12 of us are so stressed that they needed a Psychiatric consult.

at one point i was almost there too..

WHAT ARE THEY DOING TO US :(

i hope she doesnt decide to quit, it's such a waste to study 6 years and to give up like that.

tomorrow will be my first day in General Paediatric ward.no more oncology for me..i dont know if that's a yeay or not yet.

hope i'll be coping well

yesterday i met up with my dear Datin :) so happy to see her, and boy she drives one hell of a nice ride...

had dinner at italiannies in pyramid, shared carbonara, fried calamari & had our drinks..

then we went to topshop to get me my dress (my pay came in! 2 months of it :)

so we were walking around when we saw a couple holding their toddler looking really distressed, it turned out that the kid was having a seizure, right there in pyramid oh gosh, so me and didie went to help, put him down, try to get him to breathe..checking his vitals..it was quite exciting ,and its kinda funny that all these while i've been going out nothing has happened and the one time that me n didie hang out we come across this..

when the kid regained consciousness they brought him to the nearby hosp..and that was it.

hope he is okay, i tihnk he should be :)

working tomorow and on call the day after.i should really catch up on my lost sleep.

i have not felt so carefree for the longest time.

im going out tonight with the girls!

omg i cant believe it :D

im on call again on sunday, oh yes, the third motherfucking sunday in a row

getting really tiredof these sunday calls

so yesterday i experienced something new.i was called to accompany a baby from daycare oncology clinic to go for her ct scan, and was supposed to sedate her and make sure she remains sedated throughtout the scan... sounds easy peasy...lol thats what i thought. the thing is our dear baby here is such a fighter,she was fighting the effects of the sedation and refused to sleep.she was pre-sedated with chloral hyrate and then i gave her some midazolam and she was still tossing and turning. waited for almost an hour before the MO came with promethazine and we tried that too but she was STILL AWAKE . omg *sweat* and so unlucky we were, her iv line bunked like..5 times? the MO had to set the line right there at the ct scan waiting area 4 times and finally when we thought we were done and she was off to slumber land peacefully (the line bunked after we injected promethazine the final time) the radiologist came and drop the bomb : they need an iv access for the contrast substance to go in -___- i swore my knees went weak hahaha i cant believe it, so the poor MO had to set the line again..

off she went into the ct scan room and we were at the observation room waiting for it to be done when the radiologist called us in and said the iv line bunked a-g-a-i-n. omg i cant believe it so we had to set another line right there with her on the bed of the ct scan machine and the place being the ct scan lab it didnt have a stopper for us to lock the line so after we got the line in and the contrast in we realised that we had nothing to close the line to stop the blood flow, then our poor baby was bleeding out of her line making a really big mess..blood dropping from the line and everyone was scurrying to look for a stopper. finally found one and she was scanned... *phew*

it was really funny to think of it.the entire process took more than 2 hours. in between while we were setting the lines i had to run over to the trauma dept to get some supplies and we wanted heparin saline but weirdly they dont have it premixed like how we have it in our ward..so the kind nurse made one for me with a normal saline + heparin (1ml heparin in 100ml NS) it brightened up my day...just a random act of kindness could do so much for me :)

my sayang just came online, im off to chat now while i wait for miss chen to pick me up..

so today someone mistook me for a nurse! OMG why do i look so much like one ?-___- with a stesthoscope slung over my neck, my labcoat, my nametag (oh i can imagine ppl not being able to see my name tag) one of the kid's granny thought i was a nurse. haha not that i mind, i dont really care.but i just dont want to deal with the part where they become so embarassed later on when they find out and i'll have to comfort them, haiyo seriously wtf man.

and today someone also mistook me for an ophthalmo surgeon - haha if such doctors exists.the thing is in our ward,apart from patients with cancer, we also admit ENT, opthalmo and dental patients,usually those who are going in for surgery within the next few days. so today i had to clerk in a girl with right eyelid ptosis undergoing surgery soon (levator resection, if you would like to know) and her dad thought i was the surgeon who was gonna do the surgery. its kinda funny ,maybe cause today i was wearing a mask all the time in my little effort to prevent my infection from spreading.

today was pretty uneventful, apart from the sudden realisation of alot of things.

im finally getting a better grasp of everything, especially the side effects of the chemo drugs and what we have to lookout for in each patient based on the chemotherapy they are on.

most of the patients in the wards are having Pre B ALL or osteosarcoma, in btw there are some cases of Ewing's sarcoma, rhabdomyosarcoma, AML, medulloblastoma & Wilm's tumor. different chemotherapy protocols are used in different tumors, and we'll have to monitor patients for various effects of the said chemo drugs.

there weren't any tutorials this week,maybe all the lecturers are busy since the holiday season is coming.

im off to chat with my sayang now

i was on call last night. it was pretty uneventful..and i even got to sleep a bit. the thing is..i fell sick. had a really bad sore throat starting in the evening (made me lose my appetite) and then by night time i was already feverish. this morning the fever came full blown.. and also the headache and the joint pain. no choice had to take the mc to come home.

went to the clinic at downstairs at the hosp i work at, and was told that i couldnt go to the staff clinic because of some admin/registratration thing and i had to wait with the rest of the crowd for the general clinic. *sigh* luckily only waited for an hr fr the moment i registered till i got my meds.

dad picked me up around 10am, came home n slept all the way till 5pm. im feeling abit better now, the headache's gone, sore throat lessen but there's like a thick fog in my head. im woozy :(

going to work tomorrow

sigh.

i had a really bad day yesterday.

so bad i cried in front of the specialist

and then again in front of my consultant :(

the shoulder shaking, breathlessly sobbing kinda cry.

:(

tomorrow im on call again. missing out the free flow event tonight, and that's not even upsetting me.im hoping that i'll be able to go to bed by 8pm tonight.

thursday night i was on call and it was pretty okay, but friday (yesterday) post call i was alone because D* the other HO from my ward took mc. it was horrible because i was so fucking tired and yet i was alone to do everthing. plus im not familiar with alot of things and i was already feeling like shit thinking that there is no end to this every single day i'll have to go back to the hosp, even saturdays and sundays.

today D* took over the morning rounds because she was on call last night (even tho on mc) so i had a break and i didnt have to go. thank God because this little break does wonders to my mind.i know im on call again tomorrow but at least this morning i didnt have to wake up so early, i could catch up abit on lost sleep.

hopefully for the next few weekends we can rotate this way so i get some days off.

i dunno how much longer i can take this..

im so unmotivated :(

i've only rested/slept for 45 mins in the last 36 hours.

im going crazyyyyyy

did my first 'on call' last night.i dont know how im going to be able to do it few times a week regularly *cries*